Fear paralyzes. It disguises itself in so many different ways. Sometimes it's obvious that it is the fear of messing up or choosing wrongly that paralyzes. Sometimes it disguises itself cleverly as someone else's issues that hold you back. "They are.... They won't.... They think.... They don't..." "They" don't have anything to do with it. It's just another excuse we give ourselves to wait and do nothing.
We spiritualize it by saying that You don't want us to go yet because we are supposed to be learning something by doing nothing - by saying there is no open door yet. We seek heavenly inspiration and wait until we get an obvious answer from above. That is fear's trickery. Fear is my enemy. It loves to see me wait, loves to see me cry out in agony for a clear direction. Fear loves to keep me alone and scared. Fear is clever, sneaky and cunning.
You, God, do not operate in that kind of fear. You require us to live by faith. You require us to believe in the things we cannot see. You require us to go where we are unsure. We know this about You yet we beg and expect clear directions and apparitions, voices, maps and lists. We blind ourselves, our faith by these expectations. If we love You madly and know You deeply then what we do is what You want us to do and Your love is the voice, Your character is the map, You are the direction, the list and the apparition.
Blind faith. True love - complete surrender to You - that is how we know where to go, when to go - that is anywhere and always. Fear cannot live in Your love. It cannot trick us or tell us to wait for a door, a sign, an inspiration. Fear has no hold, no grasp, no place in the life You've given me.
Jesus, Father, God - I want to know Your heart so we beat in sync. You love me. I love You and fear must be banished from this temple. I will go You have led. I'm coming.